Salta totam noctem

moriartystayingalive:

If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.

death-limes:

just-shower-thoughts:

If “womb” is pronounced “woom” and “tomb” is pronounced “toom”, shouldn’t “bomb” be pronounced “boom”?

is

is that a pun

where-is-the-apple-juice:

sebastlianstan:

Uptown funk would’ve made it onto the shrek soundtrack

that’s the truest statement i’ve ever read